Relative Pains
by Parabola Beam
Summary: A series of mini-chapters centered around Neru, Dell, their children, and their family life. Sweet and fluffy through and through.
1. Relative Pains

**Relative Pains**

They stared at Neru's stomach together.

"One month..." She whispered, smoothing her hand over the surface in awe, the other holding her shirt up, "...how do we miss this sort of thing, really?" She sighed, lips forming a bemused grin.

"You don't look much different on the outside, is how." Dell runs a hand through his hair and props his elbow on the couch Neru is seated on. He can't take his eyes off her stomach. Neru notices his prolonged stare, perhaps the bit of inexorable curiosity in his expression and her smile widens.

"Here," she whispers, and takes his hand in hers, pulling it to the exposed skin.

He can tell by the way her fingers cradle his against her that she will be a wonderful mother. It surprises him that he somehow is_ not _surprised.

Her soft skin feels so good under his coarse fingertips, the way it always has.

"Will you still love me when I get fat and hormonal and bitchy?" Neru asks suddenly.

He laughs perhaps the hardest he's ever laughed in his life. He sees how he has just scared the everliving shit out of Neru-it's not exactly a common event for him, this _laughing_ business-and her face makes him laugh harder. "That's what you're worried about?"

"H-Hey I didn't say that. Just asking a question. Which I expect you to answer, by the way." She prods her foot into his stomach hard. "Oh no you don't-" She blurts as he opens his mouth, about to respond with something slick, no doubt, "-you can't complain to _me_ about getting kicked in the stomach for about...eight more months."

"Fair enough." He'll let her have that one, if only for what he's about to say to her. "But to answer your question...yes." He smirked. "Even when you get fat."

They share a look for a moment, and then Neru gets it.

And kicks him again.

...

"Daddy!"

He'd been called a lot of things in the past, and he'd been a father for two years, but somehow, he'd never get used to getting called that.

"Yes-?" She deposits herself in his lap by way up launching herself as high off her heels as she can and falling back with all her force into his solarplexus, "...-careful honey-" Dell chokes, wincing through his teeth. "What do you need?" She pats at her head with a tiny, grubby little hand and bounces expectantly. "Your hair again? Maybe if you didn't jump around like a little monkey everywhere it wouldn't fall down so much." He knows it's no use telling her, if she's anything like her mother.

And she is definitely like her mother.

She turns her neck to look at him, shoulders going up to her ears with the most infectious smile humanly possible. "Daddy hurry up."

In one ear and out the other. He can't bring himself to mind when her "r"'s still sound like "w"'s though.

"Piggies or ponies?"

"Pony!"

Like mommy, of course. Why did he even continue to ask? She definitely had her mother's hair. The soft bundle of strands was long for her age, even though it scarcely formed a fat feather of a ponytail, and the same color.

"Daddy look-" She fists her hand into the pocket of her sundress, pulling out a dirty, wriggly worm, "-I got this for you! I already gave one to mommy."

He pulled his face back with a grimace. "Oh I bet she was very happy."

"No, no actually, actually-" She stammered as Dell carried her to the door and set her down, opening it.

"Here, give it to me-"

"_Her _name is Mrs. Worm. But _daddy_-"

"Give me Mrs. Worm then. I'm sure she likes being in the grass." She pouted for a second before handing _Mrs. Worm_ to Dell. He set it free and sat on the porch, his daughter quickly following suit.

"Mommy's gonna get cranky when she sees your dress, princess."

"Daddy!" Her cheeks puff up impossibly big, impossibly adorable. "I was _talking_!"

Because when she talks, he listens. That's how it is.

"Go on then, out with it."

She grins with all her teeth. "Actually, I gave mommy _Mr. _Worm, but-" She paused for dramatic effect, as if this were a profound secret of the universe that she was so kindly bequeathing to him, "-it's a _surprise_! She hasn't found him yet-"

A horrified scream pierced the summer air, no doubt filling every room of their house.

"Oh no," Dell smiled, pressing his lips to her forehead, above her bewildered eyes, "something tells me she has."

**A/N: **There's definitely more on the way. I think it might reach about two or three sections, whichever best encompasses all I want to go over. XD Dell as a daddy is such incredible fun to write. I can't wait to get into Neru's stuff as a mommy next chapter, ahaha~. I'm still alive and still working on my other fics by the way, OTL I feel so guilty not working on them for so long but I swear I'll get something else done soon too! Thanks so much for reading, please review if you feel so inclined~.


	2. Son

**Son**

"Nerumi, get down, you're like a thousand pounds to him." Dell quickly pulled the girl off of the newest addition to their family, cradled gingerly in Neru's arms, and held her in his lap at Neru's bedside. She sulked but looked on attentively, watching her baby brother like a hawk.

The boy had been crying nonstop up until he was safe in his mother's arms. Neru had been completely exhausted, trapped in the frumpy hospital gown and bed for several long and painful hours, but she'd do it all again.

"Baby's so soft..." She whispered, to no one in particular. "...wait until you get pretty like daddy, too." She hummed, lifting the little bundle and scrunching her nose, touching it against his. Nerumi began giggling wildly.

"Mom called you _pretty_." She announced, tilting her head back to look up at Dell.

"Hey, watch it, squirt." He said with no degree of seriousness whatsoever. Neru sat up a little straighter in her bed and cracked a wry grin.

"He's prettier than mommy right now, that's for sure..." She sighed, easing her head back and resting her eyes. It wasn't any easier the second time around, that was for damn sure. She felt Dell's coarse fingertips tracing along her cheek and brushing some hair aside.

"You look great."

"And you're a liar." Neru jabbed, without missing a beat. The nurse ducked her head inside.

"Are you ready for visitors?"

After a weary, but not unenthused "yes", the nurse held the door open for two familiar faces.

"Ohh, Neru-" Haku cooed, approaching her bedside gingerly and pressing a kiss to her forehead, "-you look beautiful."

"I see the lying runs in the family." Neru chuckled. "Look, he's got Dell's nose."

"Ahhh, you're right, I see it!" Haku beamed, touching her fingertip to it and giggling softly. As they chattered over the new little life in Neru's arms, Dell greeted their second guest.

"Gumi, it's great to-"

"Neru-mi!" Gumi blurted a little too loudly, swooping down to pluck the little girl from Dell's lap.

"Auntie Gu-mi!" Nerumi wailed, wrapping her arms around Gumi's neck as the young woman spun around with her.

"-yeah, great to see you too, Gumi." He huffed. The baby in Neru's arms did not take kindly to the sudden outbursts, and began crying loudly, much to Neru's dismay. "Now look what you've started." He smirked, wincing as a loud shriek reached his ears.

"Sorry!" Gumi grinned apologetically. "I just missed this little chickadee so! Much!" She rubbed her cheek against Nerumi's, earning a peal of giggles. "You need to let me babysit sometimes, Dell! I won't even charge you anything, come on-"

"You'll burn down the whole damn house-"

Gumi gasped and pulled Nerumi's head against her shoulder, covering her other ear with her hand. "Potty mouth! Potty mouth! Don't use such words around an innocent princess! And come on, _please_-?"

"We'd need to hire another babysitter for _you_, Gumi."

As they continued their good-natured bickering, Neru and Haku tried everything to hush the baby.

"Sheesh, at this rate you're a better father than Dell." Neru joked as Haku tried to engage the screaming child in a game of peek-a-boo. "Wait, I have an idea. Haku, do you want to hold him?"

Haku's eyes opened wide and she held her face, stunned. "O-Oh _Neru_, are you sure-?"

"Yes, yes-" Neru tucked the blanket around him better, "-my arms are killing me. Come on now sweetheart-" She murmured as soothingly as possible, gently passing him off, "-say hello to auntie Haku."

"A-Auntie-?" Haku's entire face was glowing. The baby's wailing tapered off and he stared up at her. "H-Hello...o-oh...goodness-" She looked like she was about to cry any moment. Neru knew Haku had always loved children. "-Neru, he's..._perfect_-"

"Just don't drop him."

Haku was so enthralled that Neru was beginning to think she'd have to worry more about her willingly giving him back. She felt a familiar weight on the bed beside her and smiled, resting her head on Dell's shoulder.

"Didn't think I'd forget about you, did you?"

"I wonder sometimes." Neru elbowed him softly in the ribs as he circled an arm around her shoulders. "Where'd Gumi take our daughter this time?"

"Gumi said she had something that she needed _someone's _'extra-special' help with, so they'll be back soon with whatever abomination Gumi's made, I'm guessing."

"Hey-" Neru nudged him playfully, "-let's run away now while they all have the kids. We'll be able to _sleep_ again." She yawned and cuddled in closer to him.

"Heh. 'Sleep'. Who's talking about _sleep_-?" This remark earned a reproachful look from Haku. 'Not around the baby', it seemed to reprimand. "Sorry." He grumbled. Neru would've pitied him, being alone with all this estrogen, but it wasn't like he'd been the one giving birth for several hours. He'd live.

"By the way," Haku smiled, "this little one needs a name."

Neru and Dell shared a glance before Dell threw up his hands. "Hey. You take this one."

Neru gave it only a moment of thought. "Haru. We'll name him after mommy..." She reached up, playing with her boy's foot with a satisfied smile on her face, "...and auntie Haku." Haku had to give the baby-give _Haru_-back to Dell to keep from dropping him with shock, but not before pressing gentle lips to the boy's forehead.

"N-Neru...really?" Haku couldn't wipe her eyes fast enough. "I-I-" She dissolved into the seat at her bedside, the happiest tears imaginable streaming down her cheeks.

"It'll be like what Dell chose for our daughter. Mommy's name, and auntie Gumi." Neru grinned, taking her hand and squeezing reassuringly.

"Speak of the devil-" Dell sighed as the door opened.

Gumi came back in, Nerumi perched on her shoulders. In Gumi's arms was an enormous sheet cake, and in Nerumi's, a basket filled with fruit, primarily mangoes.

"This one's from me!" Gumi strained to set it down on the bedside table without upsetting the girl on her shoulders. "And everyone else I could get to sign it! Everyone wrote you something in their favorite color, and snuck in their favorite ingredient to the batter-"

Neru regarded it critically. _Everyone? _Oranges and bananas and...well, carrot _cake_ were somewhat acceptable, but she didn't want a piece if Luka had been involved.

"Eww." Neru reached out and swiped a finger into the frosting to humor her, giving it a lick. She shrugged. "Well, that part's okay."

"My art is wasted on you, Neru!" Gumi put her hands on her hips in playful exasperation before helping Nerumi down. "Well anyway, she's carrying Haku's present!"

Neru felt her mouth water at the sight of all the juicy mangoes, especially when she dug into the basket and found-

"Oh god _yes_, yes-"

"Oh hell no-" Dell groaned.

"-pepper jelly!" Neru opened the jar and spread a little onto a mango before sinking her teeth in with a gratified moan. It made her tongue dance like wildfire in a rainforest.

Haku smiled sheepishly. "Dell told me about them."

"Yeah, but I wasn't expecting you to go and enable her weird pregnancy cravings." He shot back.

"Hey hey, so-!" Gumi pouted, poking Neru's arm, "You say my cake is gross, and then you go ahead eating that, what gives?"

"Can't stop the heart." Neru sighed blissfully before taking another huge bite, some juice dribbling down her chin.

"Great. Three drooly kids to wipe the faces of." Dell sighed. Nerumi folded her arms and tapped her foot, obviously none-too-pleased with the remark.

"Daddy!"

"Sorry sweets. You'll help daddy wipe up mommy's slobby face, right?"

"Right!"

"You're lucky I just gave birth-" Neru warned.

"You're right," Dell smiled, looking down into Haru's sleeping face, "I am."

**A/N: **Ahh my gosh this is too fun. Too much adorable for one person to handle. Ahhh gods. There's a pretty obvious shout-out in here for who this fic is essentially for. ;D Anyway, I promise I didn't forget my other stuff, just wanted to get some happiness going. Thanks so much for reading!


	3. Late Nights

**Late Nights**

"Still working?"

"What's it look like?" Dell snapped irritably from the bed, not even bothering to look up from the glare of the computer screen.

"I don't know." His work disappeared as Neru's hands pressed the lid of the laptop closed.

"The hell are you-?" Dell straightened his neck out, using the momentum to roll his eyes before they settled on Neru, which widened considerably once they did.

"Why don't you tell me what this looks like?"

"..._Wow_, uh-" He watched as Neru picked up his laptop and set it back onto the desk, but it wasn't the action itself that had his attention anymore, but rather, what very little she was wearing. The silky, short negligee she wore teased the skin below her hips as she came back to the bed and swung a leg over his waist, straddling him and putting her hands to work on slowly loosening the tie at his collar. "-What's the occasion?"

"You mean besides it being your birthday?" She quirked an eyebrow at him matter-of-factly. To be completely honest, he had forgotten. "Not to mention the kids are in bed. I'd think that alone would be enough..." Her voice lilted into a soft hum as she lackadaisically flung the tie aside and smoothed her fingertips down to unbutton his dress shirt, her lips twisting into a grin, "...look at you, staying up at this ungodly hour, not even changing out of your clothes, still working yourself to death to spoil our kids rotten..." She chided softly, "...good thing I'm here to make sure you don't kill yourself."

"Yes, _dear_-" Dell sighed with feigned resignation, "-what would I do without you?" He didn't plan on getting too cheeky though, when she was in such a favorable mood.

"Exactly." She pulled his shirt open and leaned forward, draping her arms around his shoulders and pressing close to him. "Let me do all the work tonight..." Neru completed her thought with a long, soulful kiss, lavish, ardent, and wet. Dell eagerly wound his arms around her waist, accepting it in full: she was overpowering in her affection. He had to admit that she was a fantastic kisser. When Neru really wanted to she could kiss with not just her mouth but with her entire body, and she was effortlessly precise with her tongue, the kind of precision that came with years of practice, years of practice learning one mouth and how to melt him from within like soft caramel.

He's so caught up in the kiss that she has him flat on his back in no time, her fingers grazing along the back of his neck and toying with the hovering tuft of ponytail before pulling the band off and sliding it over her wrist. Thoughts of unfinished work funnel away through the back of his head, into nothingness, her coquettish smile commanding his full attention.

"I'm going to do everything bad to you..." She purred, grabbing his hands and sliding them lower, until they were flush over her rear, "...and if you're good, maybe I'll let you play with me too."

"Do I even have to tell you to be my guest?"

"Oh, _good_ boy-"

Their bedroom door creaked open and Dell immediately shifted his hands to a more appropriate position, Neru quickly laying her cheek on his chest.

Why _now._

"H-Haru? What are you doing up?" She blurted nervously. The boy sniffled and tilted his head curiously. Dell couldn't help but feel a certain fondness for the way her heart was pounding against his stomach.

"What are you doing...?"

"Ahm-" She glanced to Dell and must have instantly realized it was a bad idea, because she didn't wait for whatever unconvincing white lie he was still trying to make up, "-Mommy and daddy are just hugging laying down."

"Oh..." Haru fussed with his pajama sleeve, "...Mama? Can I hug you laying down too? I can't sleep-" His lips trembled like he was about to cry, and Neru quickly sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed to go to him and kneel next to him, taking his small hands in hers.

"Haru...we talked about this, didn't we?" The child could sense the impending news, because he promptly threw himself at Neru and started bawling into her shoulder. She picked him up and rubbed his back until the brunt of his sobs subsided, before continuing, "You're three now. You know what that means?" Haru sniffled with resignation, his eyes huge and wet and puffy and red. "You're mama's big strong man, and you're old enough to sleep in your very own bed." Haru buried his face into her shoulder.

Dell watched, not knowing what he could do that would help the situation. Neru had left him with a certain _issue _that he really shouldn't get out of bed with and expose to their already-crying son, and in all honesty, she seemed naturally better at handling Haru anyway.

Sometimes he wasn't sure whether Haru reminded him of his sister or himself more.

But it was quite a sight, watching his wife console their son in a pair of too-short boy-shorts and what was essentially lingerie.

"Hey, sweetie-" She bounced him in her arms so he'd sit up, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "-I'll sing the song, okay? So no more crying. Enough crying, okay?"

Haru wiped his tears on his pajama sleeve and sucked on it, looking at her expectantly with his big, wet eyes. Neru cleared her throat-

-and sang.

"_Honey bun, honey bun, oh-so-soft-and-sweet..._" The simple melody was soft and slow, enough for Haru to start humming along halfway through, "._..honey bun, honey bun, good enough to_-" Neru kissed his nose quickly, "_-eat_." The boy giggled within his closed lips and hid his spreading smile behind his sleeve. "Give mommy a kiss now-" Haru kissed her cheek again and again, his smile disappearing the closer his feet came to touching the ground, "-and go to bed."

His tiny shoulders started shaking and a loud hiccup escaped. Before Neru could respond, Nerumi shuffled into the room, rubbing her eyes.

"What's goin' on? Where's li'l brother?" She saw Haru and grabbed his arm, intending to pull him along. "You can sleep with me, come_ on_-" She picked him up and began to tote him away, "-no brother of mine is a baby, okay?"

Haru propped his chin on Nerumi's shoulder, his eyes never leaving Neru's as the two children disappeared down the hall.

"...That's my girl." Dell smiled as Neru closed the door and climbed back into bed.

"_Your_ girl? She's mine too you know. But-" She traced a finger over his chest, "-what should we do now?"

"...How about we go back to that 'hugging-laying-down' stuff?"

**A/N: **Ahh god this fic puts me in a great mood. I love them. Etc. Everything I said before I can't word any differently. Next chapter will be the more intense one because I ended up extending this a little, ahaha. XD The great news is that I picked up some other fics again and am working hard on them, so everyone waiting for Lab Rat will get their update soon, I PROMISE. Thanks so much for reading, please review if you feel like it!


	4. Family

**Family**

The emergency room not being very full at that moment only seemed to highlight their failure.

As parents. As people.

"What the hell were you thinking, Neru? Nothing?" Dell barks at her, even though he doesn't need to, because she's already too deeply ashamed to look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Stop apologizing! It won't do anything!" Nothing will do anything for him, not anymore, nothing but seeing Nerumi awake and well again.

"Then stop yelling at mom too!" Haru's angry voice commands their attention.

"Hey, boy. _Shut up_, and stay out of this-"

Neru swears under her breath and her face is white as a sheet and livid all at once as she finally looks up at Dell, expression furious.

"Don't you fucking _dare_ take this out on him. That is your _son_, and if he hadn't carried Nerumi all the way to us she might not have made it this far-"

Dell pushes his face right into hers, eyes wild with anger and spite. "And if you hadn't _fallen asleep _instead of going to refill her inhaler, this wouldn't have happened to her in the first place, you stupid, lazy bitch."

Neru looks like she's about to say something, her mouth opening and closing like a fish trapped on a hook, and a few runaway tears make their way quickly down her cheeks from her wide eyes. He's too destroyed inside to feel any worse than he does, so he'll settle for making her feel like nothing, just for now.

He'll make her feel just how he does.

"If my little girl dies in there-" Dell notices Haru's glare, ever-protective, and it only makes him want to say the terrible words all the more, "-it's on you." He feels something immediately when he sees her reaction: regret, hatred, remorse, disgust? But he doesn't process it because he's not going to deal with it right now. "I've got to smoke." He informs her callously, leaving her side to shove through the revolving door of the hospital and light up just outside the entrance.

Cigarettes were perhaps the only true love he had left. It'd take a miracle for Nerumi to open her eyes again, and he couldn't be close to Haru like he was with her. Fuck Neru, for messing up. Fuck Dell, for thinking there was such a thing as a happy ending in places other than children's books and seedy massage parlors.

Haru was here now, staring at him with contempt. How long had he been out here, cursing the world? Didn't matter.

Fuck Haru.

"Mom's crying."

"Gee, I wonder why." He took another long drag from his cigarette and watched the smoke hover in the brisk morning air.

"Because you hate her."

"I don't hate her." It surprises even himself, how quickly, naturally it comes out, automatically. His heart hurts when he thinks of her.

"Then don't say such terrible fucking things to her." Haru spits bitterly.

"...You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"You kiss her with yours." The boy returns evenly, and it annoys Dell to no end.

"Alright." He challenges, flicking his nigh-burned-up cigarette into the trash before lighting another, not budging from the wall he's been leaning on, "You got something to say? Say it."

"Six minutes."

"Excuse me?"

"Every cigarette you smoke is six less minutes you get to spend with mom-" Haru is completely still, focused, all the anger in his voice, "-and she doesn't tell you she minds because she gets that life is short-"

_She loves you._

"-and she doesn't bother trying to make you change because she can be happy with how things are and she knows nothing's perfect anyway-"

_She loves you._

"-and now she'll never tell you what an asshole you're being, because she made a _mistake_, and she gets that-"

_She loves you._

"-but don't forget why Nerumi has asthma in the first place,_ dad_."

He's got his mother's spirit.

Dell knew why he had never been close to Haru. Haru was too much like himself, except _not_-

Haru was him. Before he'd given up, before he'd become complacent. This was no longer a boy: this was a strong, fine young man, doing a better job of protecting his family than Dell was.

Dell blinks, moisture. The cigarette has fallen from between his lips at some point and wisps weakly from the concrete.

"Haru." His voice is soft, and can't be, can't be his own. "...Come here."

He has seemingly no reason to indulge him, but he does anyway, because he is perfect-

-and with grit teeth and watering eyes Dell sinks to his knees, clasping his arms around the boy and suffocating a sob against his shoulder.

"Fucking-...hell, kid-" His chest is tight and it hurts because he doesn't have enough air to cry with, "-I'm damn proud of you." Haru was everything Dell could've, should've been, a better brother, a better son-

Haru is just better than him.

The boy stands there in shock, just taking it in. Dell makes a fist and shoves it against his own mouth, as if he can just push the tears and shaking back inside and make it stop because he never does this and it scares him and he can't and his eyes are wide and bloodshot and wet-

Small arms circle their way around his back and he knows what he has to do, stands up, knowing Haru will follow as he goes back inside.

He almost doesn't see Neru, doubled over in her seat, tiny. From what little he can see of her face it is red and wet and raw and she's trembling all over and he's in front of her suddenly, taking her arms and pulling her to her feet and squeezing his around her tightly, knowing she can do the crying for the both of them because he certainly can't do anymore, and she delivers in spades. She buries her open-mouthed, wounded sob against his chest and he kisses the crown of her head deeply, silently telling her that things are better now, if not yet okay, and that he won't leave her again and all of the sappy things he never thought he'd have to let her know, because they should've been a given and he's just an ass. Neru is his, his wife, his family, the reason he has what he has in his arms and he loves her.

They're all sitting together like they should be this time, and then the miracle happens.

"Mr. and Mrs. Honne?"

They all but jump to their feet as the nurse rounds the corner, one of Nerumi's hands in hers. Gone is the billowy hospital gown and the breathing tubes. She is in her own clothes again walking almost entirely under her own power, if a little pale in the face.

"It was a bit of a close call," The nurse hands them Nerumi's file, "but you got her here just in time. She's going to be okay if she goes easy on the physical activity for the next few days. Take her paperwork to the front and you'll all be good to go."

Dell and Neru thank her, looking to their daughter and finding her safe in Haru's arms.

"Aww Haru-" Nerumi groans tiredly, "-we talked about this, remember? No brother of mine is a crybaby okay? I'm fine."

Dell looks between them and the look on Neru's face, only then realizing the extent to which they are all just..._related_.

They sign out and Nerumi tugs Dell's sleeve, asking to be carried.

"Princess-" He swoops her off her feet and hands her to Neru. "-I think mommy wants a turn holding you too."

His eyes meet Neru's, and the relief in hers tell him she knows, knows that she's been forgiven, that he trusts her still. They walk out the door and Dell falters a half-step near the trash can before reaching into his pocket, pulling out the half-full pack of cigarettes. He looks at it, turning it over in his hand, then looks to Neru, holding their beautiful daughter, and tosses it into the trash resolutely before following.

A hand slips into his. He glances down.

Haru is for the first time, smiling at him. He knew.

Dell had his entire family together, and he wasn't letting go.

**A/N: **Happy (early) birthday Nerumi Honne~! You're a super friend and I love you thiiiis much. 8D I'm so super happy to bring this fic to an end, I hope the ending was satisfying. AHHH DELL. I WANTED TO HURT YOU SO MUCH OMG. Anyways, thanks for reading, please leave a review if you feel like it~!


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